Thursday, 15 January 2015
A New Years Revelation
For so long now I've struggled to come to terms with the fact that there are certain things about my life that I can't change.
I wrote a post at the start of the year (here) with a positive message about how much everything has improved. I really did mean what I said, but then the holidays ended and I had to leave my family again and go back to college. So over the last two weeks I've been feeling really down and homesick, and basically just feeling sorry for myself.
But today I had an 'epiphany'.
Sure I can't change the world around me, but there is one thing I have complete control over; me.
If I can find the time to cry in my room and think about everything negatively, then I might as well use that time to focus on improving myself instead.
This might be one of the cheesiest things you've ever read, and I'm not really one to distribute pretentious life thoughts like this often, but when had this thought I just had to get it down in words, maybe just to make myself to believe it.
This year I'm going to make me the best version I can be. The new and improved Ella. Ella 2.0.
Yes, I'm going to have down days where my confidence and motivation levels are at 0, but right now I am so determined that I'm not going to let myself worry about things that are out of my control any more. It's easier said than done, but worrying never solves anything, and I'd rather put that nervous energy into something with a positive outcome. Whether it be by being healthier, working harder at school, or even improving this blog, I'm going to try and make sure that everyday I am a better person than I was yesterday.